The Blindman's Wife Read online

  “Yes you’re a big boy, but even big boys need their rest. After you go to bed, your mother and I are going to bed too.”

  He held out his hand for his Zola and when she took it, he smiled. “Mum, Zora have a good evening, see you both tomorrow. When we finish putting this little fellow to bed, we’ll be doing the same too.”

  They said goodnight and Zola led them in from the garden towards Wyn’s room blushing to her dark roots.

  “So Wyn, tell me what mummy looks like in her dress,” he asked unexpectedly making her stumble.

  “Pretty like a princess,” he smiled sleepily resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

  “A princess huh, that’s good to know,” he smiled as if amused.

  Zola ground her teeth and bit her tongue. What was so funny about her looking like a princess? Granted she wasn’t the world's most beautiful woman. She was plain and short, not the typical gorgeous model types he normally went for she was sure. However, he didn’t have to say it like that, as if it was impossible to believe. She did look beautiful today, and that was a lot coming from her. When he regains his sight, she would have the photos to show him.

  It took them fifteen minutes to get the little boy down.

  “Come my wife, it’s time for us to go to bed as well,” he whispered.

  “Maybe he’ll wake—”

  “No, he won’t, he’s too tired, and if he does, he has his nanny in the other room.”

  “But—”

  “There is no need to be afraid Azolah, I would never hurt you,” he said caressing her arm. “Come, we have the whole night ahead of us.”

  She walked dazed to the cottage where the night was just about to begin for them. She believed that Liam would never intentionally hurt her, but she didn’t think he was aware that what he expected to happen that night was something she wasn’t ready for.

  “Would you like a drink?” he asked discarding the bow tie on the couch.

  She cleared her throat, “no thank you I-I think I’ll have a shower, you have a drink.” She said rushing to the bathroom.

  His laugh stopped her. “There is no need to run away from me Azolah, I won’t bite you unless you ask me to. But you are right I think a shower would help calm your nerves.”

  She slammed the bathroom door and sagged against it. She shed her clothes and stood under the warm water hoping it would take some of the chill off her. There was only so long she could stay in there away from inevitably consummating their marriage. She rested her head against the wall under the shower enjoying the feel of the water running down her body. How long did it take to catch a cold? She wondered. She wished she was allergic to something; she would have gladly used it if it meant postponing their wedding night.

  Zola wasn’t sure how long she stood under the running water, nor did she hear the door open until she felt his presence. She slowly turned and made a surprised gasp; he was completely naked and he was magnificent all six plus feet of him. Her gaze roamed over his body, and she swallowed when her eyes connected with his hardened flesh. She blushed and looked away.

  “What are you doing?” she asked in indignation.

  “Isn’t it obvious? You seem to be taking a long time I was getting lonely so I decided to join you.”

  “You can’t do that. You can’t just come in the shower when someone else is using it,” she said angrily.

  “Why not, we are married, what’s mine is yours and vice versa. It’s my wedding night and I wanted to shower with my beautiful wife.”

  “Don’t I have a say in who I shower with? You don’t own me.”

  “I never said I did, I would like to think we have some sort of bond since we just recited vows in front of our family and friends. I don’t want to argue Azolah. I just want to have a shower with you.”

  “But I don’t want to have a shower with you,” She said covering herself then remembering he couldn’t see her. She pushed pass him and would have escaped successfully if he hadn’t stopped her.

  “ Azolah?”

  She swallowed the tears that were threatening to surface. The day had been an emotional rollercoaster for her with both highs and lows on her happy scale and she would not give him that satisfaction of hearing her cry. “Yes?” she answered stiffly.

  “Make sure to dry your hair properly, I don’t want you catching a cold.”

  Liam heard her hurry out of the room, and he cursed himself. When he had joined her in the shower, it wasn’t his intention to make her uncomfortable or start a fight with her. With the way things were going he would never get close to her on an emotional level; maybe it was for the best. Even though they were now married, he still felt alone, like he had for the past months since his accident. He felt a bit hurt that his attempts to make things easier for her did not seem to help. She would have kept him at a distance if they hadn’t had to perform their duties as the newlyweds for their guests. Each time he came close to her or touched her she would tense up or move away if she could. He had tried to make things easier for her by finding out what she liked from her mother to ensure this day was a memorable event for her. Obviously, he had failed in that regard if she spent their whole wedding day miserable.

  He knew she had been nervous but so was he. He had hardly slept the night before because he feared she would back out of their arrangement. He hadn’t relaxed until the last minute when she walked down the aisle and placed her clammy, shaking hand in his. He had grabbed onto her fingers and sighed in relief after they had said their I dos. He had never been this nervous or insecure since he’d been in high school and asked Shannon Wise to the senior prom.

  He knew she had to be nervous about tonight and still has a naiveté about her even though she was a mother. As much as he would like to make love to her, he wasn’t going to force the issue. He should have told her that this afternoon as the evening wore on and her nerves seemed to get worse, that he wasn’t going to pounce on her. He barely had any time with her let alone a private moment to convey his intentions. God only knew what’s going on in that head of hers. He wished she trusted him enough to know that he wasn’t going to force her to sleep with him if she wasn’t ready.

  He needed to tell her he didn’t expect her to sleep with him tonight. He would wait until she was ready and would let her take the first step to initiate sex. All he wanted was to hold his wife and fall asleep and if she wasn’t comfortable with that, he would sleep in the other room and let her have her space.

  He shut off the shower and grabbed the towel that was hanging on the towel rack. Thank God, he knew this place like the back of his palm. He walked into the room and knew instantly from her choppy breathing she had been crying. He carefully walked over to the bed and sat on it. He reached for her where she was lying on the right side and felt her stiffen at his touch. He bit back a sigh, if she wasn’t careful she would fall off the goddamn bed.

  “Azolah,” he whispered, and she stiffened more. He needed to make her feel at ease. “Honey, please we need to talk. I’m sorry for the way I acted; it was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable. I want you to feel comfortable when you are around me, tell me what I can do to make you feel that way.”

  She turned onto her back and sniffed. “There’s no need to apologize, it’s your house you can do whatever you like, and I’m just a guest here.”

  “You’re not a guest you’re my wife and this is your home.”

  “You haven’t said anything about the baby you asked for, when do you expect me to hold up my end of the bargain you paid for?”

  He inhaled at her chilled voice, he wasn’t going to get anywhere with her like this and he was too tired to fight. He sighed and shook his head, “I never expected you to have sex with me tonight Azolah, despite what you think of me I’m not that heartless.”

  He grabbed the pajama bottom that was on the bed and put them on. He was certain now that he would not be able to hold his new wife for some time.

  “G
oodnight Azolah.” He said, resigned.

  “What, you’re not going to collect...” she stopped in mid-sentence.

  God, she needed to learn when to curb that tongue of hers. Right now he wasn’t sure if he could survive another of its beating. The wounds she’d elicit were too fresh and deep. No need for him to stick around so she can add salt to the them.

  “No, I can’t say I want to, I am not the monster that you believe me to be,” with that, he left.

  She never thought she could hurt his feelings but now that she had it made her feel petty and small. He had been nothing but good to her the last couple of weeks. She had been so fearful of consummating their marriage that she had lashed out at him when he didn’t give any indication he expected her to have sex with him that night. It wasn’t just that he didn’t love her that had her worried. What had her most afraid was that she would disappoint him as a lover. she had never viewed herself as a sexual person and the fact that she’d never had an orgasm made her think something was wrong with her.

  She could only hope that since their marriage was one out of business that when they finally had sex, it wouldn’t matter to him how bad she was, as long as he got what he wanted. How was she going to fix this mess? She wondered as she cried herself to sleep.

  ***

  Liam waited half an hour before he went back inside. He figured it was enough time for Azolah to fall asleep. He just didn’t feel like getting into another argument with her. When he got into bed, his sharp tongue wife was asleep curled up in a tight ball on the edge of the bed.

  When he had asked the universe for a sign to redeem himself, he didn’t mean a wife. I guess you get the last laugh Maddy, he thought silently. It was going on almost a year since he was intimate with anyone. He and Maddy hadn’t made love the last few months of their relationship. He’d been too busy with work and too angry with her for turning their plans for a small wedding into a huge affair. In hindsight, they should have just called the wedding off, and tried to see if their relationship was worth saving. He doubted if she were still alive, he would have gone through with the wedding. She had turned into a stranger, the past year.

  He should have said something to her, but had just gone along because it was what their parents expected. He doubted they had any love left for each other with all the arguments in the last final months.

  He rolled onto his side facing his wife. “What am I going to do with you?” he asked caressing her cheek before turning onto his back and fell asleep.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  She was cocooned by warmth as Zola woke in the circle of her husband’s arms. She lay still for a few minutes enjoying the feeling. It was the first time she had spent the entire night with a man. She wasn’t sure how to react, it’s not like she had experience on how to deal with the morning after scenario. Albeit there hadn’t been any sex the night before. She had expected her new husband to demand she perform her duty as his wife, but when he hadn’t she had been completely surprised. She cringed at her behaviour the night before and almost groaned aloud. She had hurt him, she knew he wouldn’t like what she said but she said it anyway. The look on his face before he left was still imprinted on her brain. She held her breath, wondering how she ended up in his arms cuddled protectively against him. She hadn’t heard him come to bed last night and had to admit she liked the feeling of his arms securely around her. She felt safe and protected, maybe even a little loved in his warm embrace.

  She chastened herself silently. Now who was spinning fairytales, of course he didn’t love her, their marriage was just a business arrangement that benefited them both. Her stomach dipped at the thought of him being in love with her. They had only known each other for a month and they barely got along yet the thought excited her, did she really want his love? Maybe if it was like what he felt for the woman he lost. She wasn’t holding her breath on that though, from what she heard and read from the society papers, he and Madeline had been the perfect couple. She had seen the way he looked at the other woman in all their pictures including the ones around the house and had felt an envy she didn’t know she had within her. She had never once thought she would want that kind of engulfing love until she had seen the photos of him and Madeline together. He looked at the other woman with such love that it seemed to consume him. What would it be like to have someone look at her the way he did his dead fiancé? To love her so deeply that it radiated from his every pore? To yearn for her as if she was the only thing that mattered to him?

  He shifted in his sleep pulling her closer to him his hand cupping her breast as her buttocks connected with his penis. She inhaled deeply and shuddered squeezing her eyes shut as she counted backwards from ten so she wouldn’t focus on the feeling of his hands on her body.

  No, he would never love her the way he did the other woman, why would he when she spent all her time fighting him? She would be lying if she said that, deep down, she wasn’t attracted to her husband. The proof was in her now pebbled nipples and the damp pool forming between her thighs. She shifted uneasily cursing her body silently for giving into her craving. She turned slowly so she was facing him. It seem like the more she fought what attraction she felt for him the more her body betrayed her as if trying to tell her give in. How could she when all she had to look forward to was heartache. It didn’t matter what her head told her, her body was saying something else completely different. He may not be her ex, but whether she acted on her attraction to him or not, she was bound to end up hurt.

  The frown he always wore was gone, and the creases were now smooth leaving laughing lines. He looked at peace and much younger in his sleep. Her fingers itched to trace the outline of brows but she resisted. This softer side of him, he looked like a man she wouldn’t mind getting to know intimately. Her gaze fell to his lips that were slightly open. She wondered if she stole a kiss would he wake up. What was she thinking didn’t he say he didn’t want her last night. Yet all she wanted to do was have sex with him. Fight it Azolah, you can do it. The fact that she had to give herself a pep talk showed she was truly in denial.

  Her lips itched to taste his; maybe one kiss wouldn’t hurt, just this once. She had often wondered for the past weeks what it would be like to be kissed by the great Liam Bradford; she had found out yesterday. It was an earth-shattering experience; it had taken her a few hours to recover. Each time he had touch her and was in close proximity of her, her body had felt electrified. Maybe the kiss was a one-time thing, a fluke. No one could kiss that good all the time, as if they were running on static electricity.

  She wanted to kiss him again, but this time, she wanted to be the one in control. She wanted to be the woman who would make him let go of all that anger and control he seemed to hold onto. Maybe she should have looked up how to seduce her husband. She took a deep breath and pressed her lips firmly to his before she talked herself out of doing the deed. Sensual shock waves ran through her body all the way to her toes at the innocent touch of lips. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a fluke she thought taking a couple of deep breaths. When he didn’t stir, she got bold and outlined his bottom lip with her tongue. She was enjoying this, and so was her body. The temperature in the room seemed like it had gone up a notch.

  She trailed a finger down the middle of his chest following the path of soft hair all the way down to his stomach. She was concentrating on her exploration of his body that she didn’t notice he was awake. Her fingers stopped at the waist of his pajama bottoms where the evidence of his arousal showed. Did men have erections while they were sleeping or was it because she was touching him? A zing of excitement rushed through her at the latter. She looked at his face to make sure he was still asleep, and felt the colour drained from her face. He was awake; she knew even if his eyes were still closed. Her hands shook as she tried to move away.

  “Don’t, I was enjoying that,” he said softly, his voice sexy and low from sleep.

  “I’m sorry I… I shouldn’t have done that,” she mumbled embarrassed at bein
g caught.

  “Azolah, we’re married that means my body is here for you to explore as much as you wish. There isn’t anything illegal about it. I love the feel of your hands on my body. It makes me feel alive for the first time in almost a year. This is your move, do whatever you like, but make sure it is what you want. I do not want you to look back at this with regret.”

  She was silent for a moment, this was what she wanted. His reaction wasn’t what she had expected though. The thought of him relinquishing all control was a rush for her. Isn’t this what every woman wanted from her man? She took a deep breath and moved closer. She kissed him hesitantly at first, then more confidently coaxing his mouth open before thrusting her tongue to meet his.

  She trailed hot kisses over his face then down his neck to the center of his chest flicking her tongue over his tight beaded nipples. He exhaled sharply, and Zola got excited, that she had an effect on him. What little control she has over him seemed to give her the courage to continue. She knew it was a lot for him to relinquish control to her, his hands tightened around the sheet as if fighting the urge not to touch her. She looked at him and saw that his jaw was locked.

  She tried to remember what she had read in the book about sex and hoped she didn’t screw things up. She looked at his erection and wondered if she should touch it through the Pajamas or if she should take it out. She froze as doubt set in; she was making a fool of herself. Don’t panic. Try to remember from your past experience she thought, but as much as she tried, she couldn’t remember anything from the one time she had sex over three years ago. It had happened so fast, all she remembered was the pain then nothing except for Nick’s grunting. After he was done, he had moved away from her. Was that really what sex was all about? What’s the use of having it then? She asked her excitement waning.